Smash open in case of death

It's a funny thing to do, in fact it's quite absurd
To sit here in good health and pen my final word
But I was pondering the other day and thought of sudden death
And was bothered about not saying bye before drawing my last breath

I've met far too many good people who've made my life worthwhile
Those who've made me richer, those who've made me smile
Those who shown me love, those who've I've loved too
I cannot list by name today, but you know that I mean you.


It's sad that I've gone early, but I'm not sad to be gone
Cos for all the days I've lived, I've not regretted one
To those that I've offended, I don't mean I'm not sorry
But I'm glad to live and learn from it, not hide away and worry

My family who've all reared me, and I mean the family extended
You've never shown intolerance and for that you are commended
The chatty little big head who thought he knew it all
You love me and accepted me and never let me fall

My family at close quarters, mum and dad and brother
Of all the families in the world, I couldn't pick another
We never had much growing up, but were never once in need
I felt your love, I loved your love, and new it guaranteed
Mum you thought you missed your calling, you missed your chance at life
But you missed that fact you were living it, as a perfect mum and wife
Yes you deserved much more, but your pay day isn't arriving
It's a hundred years away from us when your offspring are all thriving
You've been the most amazing mum, And not some house kept mug
Please gather round and let her know, please give my mum a hug

That ones from me mum.

Dad I'm sorry to go so soon, I wanted oh to stay
To see you to live your last days and wait for you to say
That you were proud of my achievements and proud to call me son
That the things I did have pleased you and I'd passed your expectation
As I sit here writing, I can hear you criticising
That my rhyming's not quite good enough, and to you that's not surprising
Well even though you're hard to please I don't feel I missed a mark
You never let me win at cards or races in the park
Don't mistake this for anger, even though you made me cry
I know you made me stronger, so no need to justify
But there were many other feelings, that you gave me, your lad
And all them them made me so proud, to say you were my dad.

I love you so much dad, please appreciate those who love you. Time with your friends or on your own are measured one a different scale...!

Gaz I know youre preference is to stay out of the light
Lucky really that your little bro preferred to burn so bright
You always bigged me up and praised the things I did
The tricks and chat up lines, from your little kid
I thank you for the quiz nights and match day rendezvous
And for each good thing you said of me, I said two of you
I was proud of you Gaz, from the minute I knew pride
I looked up to you in every phase, As a mentor and a guide

Please drink less and keep all your children loved and safe, they all need a hug from you and kind words too.

To my darling children, words cannot express
How proud I am of each of you, you've made our lives the best
Every single second we spent amongst you guys
You made us smile or laugh out loud, and brought tears to our eyes
You're three beautiful children, god we are so blessed
It hurts to think I can't see you now your laying me to rest

Please take photos of my babies, and stick them in my box

Im sorry if I shouted or ever raised my hand
There my weaknesses not yours, as children you were grand
You've all got many talents some found and some still waiting
But I hope you find me in them, my gift on abdicating.

Take care of your mum, she is worth her weight in platinum.

It's your turn now my darling wife, my one and only Kate
I'm rich for all the moments I spent with my soul mate
To have you for the years I have, You made me all the richer
In all my wildest dreams I couldn't shape a better picture
You're sex on legs personified, I never tired of looking
You ran a perfect home, the cleaning and the cooking
You kept me straight in line, but never clipped my wings
You gave me all the freedom, and encouraged my playful things
We found our own way through things, like no others could
We balanced all the things in live, the hard stuff and the good
You made me feel so manly, you made me feel all needed
If you tried to make me feel good, then Ill tell you, you succeeded
To me you were the template, of how I wished I'd be
Smiley, happy, loving, innocent, carefree
You had enough for all of us, you gave it to us too
And it's great to know our children have these traits from you
I'm sorry that I cannot be there to give you a big squeeze
But our babies will do that for me, give mum a hug now please
You gave me many things girl, you always made me smile
The best day my life though was seeing you down that aisle
God you scrub up well, your face just lit the room
I smiled right back at you, a cocky gloating groom.

Cry my darling but smile inside, we have had the best times together, and you have made me the luckiest man alive. I miss you so much but am so lucky to have found you in the first place. I will always love you. Stay strong

Like I said right at the start, writing this feels absurd
I'm sorry to do this to all of you, but I had to have the last word

And finally

For those I played sport with
and those I went to school
And those of you I worked with
and those I met through our kids
To those who grew up with me those we met on holidays
Thank you for every moment we had together.
Smile for me.

Burn bright, stay true to yourself and others
Remember giving is better than receiving
Goodbye for today
Xxx

All behind glarse

My balls are black and my spots are red
Don't play with your feet, play with your head
Boxed in a room, a game for the posh?
That's not me but I do like squash.

Valentines

Roses are coloured
Violets are violet
Colourblind ryhmer
Your poetry is toilet

The contenders

From the nineties through the noughties man united rule
The scouser with the 18 banner turned out to be a fool
Sugar daddy walker funded just one win
Greedy Alan Shearer, keeps his medal in a tin

The genius that is Wenger got his team to play quite nifty
But couldn't quite complete the undefeated fifty
Chelsea bucked the system, when a tiny team in blue
Bought the league three times over with dirty money too

And now some other dirt bags who haven't paid there dues
with a history of failiure, and a tendency to lose
Have sold out to an Arab, Lose millions every game
Could celebrate a title, but should hang their heads in shame

The fans are plastic empty seats and the balance sheets in debit
They're indulgent in their spending, and will never take much credit
They sack their managers regularly, and terminate main road
Their players are distasteful, and their favour will erode

I've seen it all before when the Russian came to town
But nothing that's thrown at us, will keep United down
They'll always be contenders to threaten Red endeavour
Cash projects are short lived though, United's class will last forever